We don’t have tons of rules at the New Parkway, but we certainly have some that are key to the sustainability and lovability of the theater. For this reason, we’re serious about the ones we have and reserve the right to kick you out (or worse) for the following transgressions:

• No Cell Phones--once you go into the theater, please turn off your cell phone and don’t even think about taking a call, reading texts, texting, etc. It’s annoying to everyone in the theater and we’ll warn you once and then we’ll ask you to leave. And we won’t refund your money. Don’t be an angry cell phone user like this person.
• Don’t Steal our Stuff--please don’t be that person who finds cool things in our movie theater and takes them home. Please don’t take our glassware, silverware, collectables, the like. If you’d like take home something from the New Parkway, consider buying a tee shirt or movie tokens. Those are fun mementos and they won’t kill your karma. Plus, we have security cameras everywhere. Ones that see in the dark!
• Smile and Be Friendly--not a rule but strongly encouraged. It’s a community theater after all, which means “theater” + “community”.
• Don’t Get Crazy Drunk--after a certain point, it’s no fun for you, no fun for us, and vomit doesn’t like good on your outfit (or in our theater) and doesn’t impress that special someone you came with or are looking to meet. Have a drink or two, not eight or ten.
• Clean Up after Yourself--please help us maintain a lovely theater by busing your own dishes at the end of the night. We have recycling, composting, and traditional trash, and we’re trying to reduce our ecological footprint by using less and then reusing what we can. Also, if you brought any outside trash into the theater, please be so kind as to take said trash out of the theater when you leave.
• Leave the Furniture where you Found It--because it’s a loveseat theater, most of our seating is non-traditional, so it’s not bolted to the ground. But please don’t move it. There are very strict fire code regulation and we don’t want to endanger you or any of our other patrons. The exception to this are the beanbag chairs and black rocking chairs at the front of theater 2. Those are meant to be moved around, and we just ask that you don’t block aisles with them.
• No Saving Seats without a Purchased Ticket--if you need to save a seat for someone who is coming later, buy a ticket for that person and leave it at the box office. Otherwise, that seat is open game for seatless patrons.
• Don’t Buy Beer for Minors--this is the kind of shit that could get us shut down. Don’t do it!
• No Smoking (of any kind)!--for reasons of safety and legality, do your smoking elsewhere. We have a zero tolerance policy for smoking of any kind inside the theater. It’s a danger to the theater and to our patrons. And no exceptions, even for the Big Lebowski!
• Take Your Farts Outside--and good hygiene is also most appreciated! No shame in a mouth full of minty fresh breath and a shot of deodorant.
• Lastly, consider talking to strangers, sharing a couch with someone new, staying for an after-show discussion, or doing one of a whole host of things that you can’t do at your big box movie theater.